GLOSSARY

​Abortion

The deliberate termination of a human pregnancy.

 

Accidental Death

Death resulting from an unforeseen event, such as a fall, vehicle crash, or unintentional injury.

 

Accumulated Loss

The emotional burden that builds over time from experiencing multiple losses—whether close together or spread across years. This type of grief can compound, making each new loss feel heavier or more difficult to process.

 

After-Death Care

Support—practical, emotional, and spiritual—offered to the bereaved after someone has died.

 

Ambiguous Grief

Grief arising from a loss that is unclear or unresolved, such as the emotional absence of a living person or the uncertainty surrounding a vanishing twin.

 

Anticipatory Grief

Grief that begins before a death occurs, often seen in long-term illness, terminal diagnoses, or impending losses.

 

Asynchronous Grief

When partners or family members experience grief differently in timing or intensity, such as one feeling sadness while another feels anger or relief, often straining relationships.

 

Being “The Strong One”

The culturally reinforced expectation that some people (often men, leaders, or parents) should suppress their emotions to hold others together—frequently resulting in delayed or invisible grief.

 

Bereavement

The period and state of mourning following a death. Distinct from grief, which is the emotional process.

 

Boundaries

The emotional, physical, or spiritual limits we set to protect our well-being during times of vulnerability. Healthy boundaries in grief may include saying “no” to certain gatherings, topics, or expectations that feel overwhelming, while saying “yes” to the rest and to healing.

 

Caregiver

A person, such as a pastor, counsellor, midwife, priest, rabbi, or chaplain, who supports those grieving through emotional, spiritual, or educational guidance.

 

Caregiver Grief

The layered sorrow, exhaustion, or guilt experienced by those who cared for someone before their death.

 

Chaplain

A spiritual caregiver, often in hospitals, prisons, or military settings, providing non-denominational support, rituals, and comfort to the grieving across faiths.

 

Clinical Riddles

Medical or diagnostic uncertainties surrounding a loss, such as unexplained causes in vanishing twin syndrome or stillbirth, which can heighten emotional confusion and grief.

 

Cognitive Impairment and Grief

Also known as “grief fog,” this refers to the temporary decline in memory, focus, or decision-making often experienced after a loss. It is a normal physiological and neurological response to trauma or heartbreak.

 

Collective Grief

A shared experience of mourning by a community, nation, or group—often seen in response to disasters, war, pandemics, or public figures’ deaths.

 

Communal Grief

Grief held and expressed within a community through vigils, ceremonies, storytelling, and public remembrance.

 

Complicated Grief

A prolonged, intense, or disruptive grief reaction that interferes with functioning. May involve guilt, denial, numbness, or traumatic reactivation (also known as prolonged grief disorder).

 

Continuing Bonds

A grief theory proposing that the relationship with the deceased continues—not as it once was, but in memory, legacy, ritual, and inner presence. This concept replaces the outdated notion of “letting go” with a model of enduring love.

 

Copycat

The concern or phenomenon where a suicide or similar loss may influence vulnerable individuals to consider or attempt similar actions, often requiring sensitive postvention support.

 

Counsellor

A professional providing emotional and psychological support to individuals or families navigating grief, using techniques like narrative therapy or grief mapping to foster healing.

 

Cultural Mourning Practices

Rituals, symbols, or traditions used to mourn the dead across different societies (e.g., black clothing, wailing, altars, head coverings, periods of silence).

 

Death

The permanent cessation of life, encompassing natural, accidental, illness-related, or self-inflicted causes, each carrying unique emotional and spiritual ramifications for survivors.

 

Death Notification

The process of informing someone of a loved one’s death—requiring empathy, clarity, and deep sensitivity.

 

Digital Mourning

The practice of grieving and remembering someone online—through memorial websites, social media, digital altars, or message boards. Memories After offers a sacred space for digital mourning that honors emotional depth and privacy.

 

Disenfranchised Grief

Grief that is not publicly acknowledged or socially supported—such as mourning an ex-partner, secret relationship, or stigmatized death.

 

Embryonic Resorption

A medical term for the process in vanishing twin syndrome where the deceased twin is reabsorbed into the mother's body, placenta, or surviving twin, often without noticeable symptoms.

 

Emotional Ambush

Sudden, unexpected surges of grief triggered by reminders, anniversaries, or unrelated events, catching mourners off guard.

 

Emotional Blame

The tendency to direct anger or fault inward or outward following a loss, often as a way to make sense of the incomprehensible.

 

Emotional Paradox

The conflicting emotions experienced in grief, such as simultaneous feelings of love and betrayal, relief and sorrow, or anger and tenderness.

 

Estranged Grief

The grief following the death of someone with whom the mourner had a fractured or distant relationship—often involving guilt or unresolved emotion.

 

Eulogy

A written or spoken tribute delivered in honor of someone who has died, often at funerals or memorial services.

 

Faith Re-Imagined

The process of reconstructing one's spiritual beliefs after a loss that challenges faith, leading to a deeper or evolved understanding of meaning and divinity.

 

Family

The network of relatives—parents, siblings, grandparents, and extended kin—whose dynamics and relationships are often reshaped by loss, requiring collective healing and communication.

 

Father

A male parent or paternal figure whose grief may involve feelings of helplessness, protection, or unexpressed sorrow, often overlooked in societal narratives of mourning.

 

First Loss

The first significant death a person experiences. This loss often shapes future attitudes toward grief.

 

Five Stages Myth

The widely misunderstood belief that grief follows a fixed, linear sequence: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Real grief is nonlinear, cyclical, and personal.

 

Friend Grief

The sorrow experienced when mourning a friend, often overlooked in favor of family-centered grief narratives.

 

Funeral

A ceremony, religious or secular, to honor and remember the dead, often involving rituals, storytelling, and gathering.

 

Good Grief

Not painless grief, but honest, expressed, and supported grief. The idea that healthy mourning allows transformation, not just suffering.

 

Good Guilt

A form of sorrow that points to love and responsibility—not shame. Often includes “I wish I had more time” or “I should have said goodbye.”

 

Grief

The emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual response to loss—especially death. Grief may involve sadness, anger, relief, confusion, and numbness.

 

Grief Literacy

The ability to understand, express, and compassionately respond to grief in oneself and others.

 

Grief Matured

The long-term integration of grief into one’s life, identity, and relationships—no longer raw, but still real. Often marked by remembrance, advocacy, or quiet reverence.

 

Guilt

A common emotion in grief, often involving self-blame or regret over actions, words, or missed opportunities with the deceased.

 

Hidden Wound

An unacknowledged or internalized aspect of grief that festers without expression, such as unspoken shame or unresolved anger.

 

Homegoing

A term rooted in African American Christian traditions that describes death as a return to God and eternal home—celebrated with joy and reverence.

 

Illness-Related Death

A death due to medical illness, chronic disease, or terminal condition—often involving anticipatory grief and caregiving.

 

Invalidation

Implying that grief should be muted or postponed because it’s inconvenient or socially awkward, leading to further isolation.

 

Invisible Grief

The reality that grief is often unseen, unacknowledged, or misunderstood by others. Invisible grief can make mourners feel isolated or dismissed—especially when the loss is not publicly recognized (such as miscarriage, suicide, or the death of an estranged relative).

 

Invisible Twin Grief

The unspoken sorrow and sense of absence experienced by survivors of vanishing twin syndrome, often manifesting as lifelong feelings of incompleteness.

 

Isolation

The emotional or social withdrawal that can accompany grief, exacerbated by stigma, misunderstanding, or lack of support.

 

Kindness Chain

A memorial practice where individuals perform acts of kindness in honor of someone who has died, then invite others to do the same. These gestures can be logged online or kept private, forming a symbolic “chain” of goodness sparked by the memory of a life.

 

Layered Grief

Grief that emerges in complex layers—such as when mourning a person, a relationship dynamic, a past identity, or future dreams all at once. This type of grief is often experienced during ambiguous or traumatic losses, or when prior unresolved grief resurfaces with a new death.

 

Legacy

The lasting impact of a person’s life—their values, creations, relationships, and influence.

 

Letter to the Departed

A therapeutic and spiritual act of writing directly to the person who has died. These letters can express love, regret, apology, gratitude, or simply serve as a space to continue the conversation. Many families choose to include such letters in memorials on Memories After.

 

LGBTQ+

Referring to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and other diverse sexual and gender identities, whose grief may involve additional layers of societal stigma, isolation, or community-specific rituals.

 

Loss

A general term for experiencing the absence or death of someone significant. Not all losses are deaths, but all deaths are losses.

 

Medical Dismissal

The minimization or oversight by medical professionals of a loss's emotional impact, such as treating vanishing twin syndrome as a mere "phenomenon" rather than a profound grief.

 

Memorial

A physical, digital, or symbolic space created to honor someone who has died. May include writing, art, images, or ritual.

 

Memories After

A global online memorial platform dedicated to honoring those who died by natural, accidental, or illness-related causes. It is the sister site to The Great Unborn Wall and Forgiven Love.

 

Mental Health

The emotional, psychological, and social well-being affected by grief, often requiring support to manage conditions like depression, anxiety, or trauma responses post-loss.

 

Midwife

A healthcare professional supporting pregnancy, birth, and postpartum care, who may also provide emotional guidance during losses like miscarriage or stillbirth.

 

Minimisation

Suggesting the loss is less important because something else survives or because it was "early" or "expected," which can invalidate the mourner's pain.

 

Miscarriage

The spontaneous loss of a pregnancy before the 20th week, causing profound emotional and spiritual impact.

 

Mixed Grief

The coexistence of conflicting emotions in grief, such as relief alongside sorrow or love intertwined with anger.

 

Mortality Awareness

The heightened consciousness of life’s fragility that often follows a loss. Rather than a morbid fixation, this awareness can deepen one’s sense of purpose, humility, and gratitude. It is also a common feature of post-traumatic growth.

 

Mother

A female parent or maternal figure whose grief may involve physical, hormonal, and identity-related challenges, particularly in pregnancy losses.

 

Mourning

The outward expression of grief, shaped by cultural or personal traditions. Includes rituals, periods of rest, gatherings, or storytelling.

 

Multifetal Pregnancy Reduction

A medical term for the spontaneous or intentional reduction of multiple fetuses in a pregnancy, often linked to vanishing twin syndrome.

 

Multigenerational

Referring to grief or loss patterns that span across generations, influencing family dynamics and emotional legacies.

 

Naming the Dead

The sacred act of saying or writing the name of someone who has died, affirming their existence and value.

 

Natural Causes

Death due to aging or expected illness, often associated with the elderly or terminally ill.

 

Pastor

A Christian spiritual leader providing guidance, sermons, and rituals to support grieving individuals and communities.

 

Post-Abortion Grief

The emotional and psychological response to abortion, which may include guilt, sadness, relief, or shame.

 

Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG)

Positive psychological change following a traumatic event, such as finding meaning or strength after a loss.

 

Postpartum Grief

The sorrow following a pregnancy loss, compounded by physical recovery, hormonal changes, and the absence of a living child, as in stillbirth or miscarriage.

 

Postvention

Intentional care and support after a suicide or traumatic death. Aims to reduce risk, provide compassion, and restore dignity to grieving survivors.

 

Priest

A religious leader, often in Catholic or Orthodox traditions, offering sacraments, prayers, and counsel during grief and rituals.

 

Privacy and Presence

The balance between giving space to mourn and offering companionship in silence—without pressure to explain or perform grief.

 

Public Memorial

A tribute made visible to the wider community (e.g., park benches, websites, vigils, social media, gallery walls).

 

Rabbi

A Jewish spiritual leader providing teachings, prayers (like Kaddish), and communal support for those grieving, often emphasizing remembrance and legacy.

 

Reborn

Symbolic representations, such as reborn dolls, used by some to process grief, particularly in vanishing twin or stillbirth losses, as a stand-in for the missing child.

 

Relational Wound

Emotional harm from strained or broken relationships, often intensified in grief when unresolved issues with the deceased surface.

 

Remembrance

The conscious act of keeping memory alive through rituals, storytelling, writing, or sacred objects.

 

Ritual and Remembrance

Structured actions that provide comfort and meaning in grief—such as lighting candles, playing a song, holding a yearly vigil.

 

Self-Compassion

Treating oneself with kindness and forgiveness, crucial for releasing guilt or shame after a loss.

 

Shame

A deep sense of inadequacy or unworthiness often tied to stigmatized losses, such as suicide or abortion, which can hinder open mourning.

 

Shield for Pain (Anger)

The role of anger in grief as a protective barrier against deeper vulnerability or sorrow.

 

Sibling Grief

The unique sorrow experienced by brothers or sisters after a loss, often involving confusion, fear, or a sense of missing companionship.

 

Silent Birth

The delivery of a stillborn child without cries or signs of life, marking a profound paradox of birth and death.

 

Silent Grief

Sorrow carried without outward expression—whether by choice, cultural constraint, or fear of judgment.

 

Stillbirth

The death of a baby before or during delivery after 20 weeks gestation.

 

Suicide

The act of intentionally ending one’s own life. Grieving suicide loss often involves shock, stigma, anger, or unanswered spiritual questions.

 

Suicide Ideation

Thoughts or plans of ending one's life, which may arise or intensify in grief, requiring immediate professional intervention and support.

 

Surviving Twin

The sibling who lives after the loss of a twin in utero, often carrying subconscious emotional or psychological echoes of the absence.

 

Survivor’s Guilt

The feeling of remorse or self-blame for surviving when another has died, common in traumatic losses like accidents, suicides, or vanishing twin syndrome.

 

Theological Disorientation

The spiritual confusion or crisis of faith triggered by a loss that challenges beliefs about God, purpose, or the afterlife.

 

Toxic Positivity

Pushing a “look on the bright side” mentality that silences sorrow and invalidates genuine grief.

 

Traumatic Grief

Grief involving elements of trauma—such as violence, sudden death, or witnessing a disturbing event. Often affects memory, sleep, and emotional safety.

 

Tribute

A creative or emotional offering made to remember and honor someone who has died. Can include written stories, music, artwork, or digital memorials.

 

Trimester

A three-month period in pregnancy (first: weeks 1-12, second: 13-26, third: 27-40), relevant in losses like miscarriage (often first trimester) or stillbirth (later trimesters).

 

Truth (in Grief)

The honoring of one’s unique emotional reality after loss—without shame, sanitization, or minimization.

 

Twin Embolisation Syndrome

A medical complication in later-stage vanishing twin loss where remnants of the deceased twin affect the survivor or mother.

 

Twin Loss / Vanishing Twin

The grief of losing a twin, either in utero (vanishing twin) or during life. Often accompanied by identity and survivor questions.

 

Unacknowledged Mourner

Someone whose grief is overlooked or dismissed, such as friends, colleagues, or distant relatives in a loss.

 

Unexpected Emotions

Surprising feelings that arise in grief, such as relief after a prolonged illness or anger toward the deceased, which can feel confusing or taboo.

 

Unhurried Presence

The compassionate act of being with someone in grief without rushing them to "feel better" or resolve their pain.

 

Unresolved Grief

Grief that remains unprocessed or unexpressed—often surfacing later through depression, illness, or unexpected emotion.

 

Unwitnessed Loss

A death or absence that goes unrecognized by others, such as early pregnancy losses or vanishing twins, amplifying feelings of isolation.

 

Validation

Acknowledging and affirming someone’s grief as real, worthy, and normal—even if it does not look like your own.

 

Vanishing Twin Syndrome

The early pregnancy loss where one twin dies and is reabsorbed, often leaving emotional traces on the survivor and parents.

 

Volunteer Grief

A term describing the pain felt when empathizing with another’s loss, particularly after witnessing or supporting someone else's grief journey. While not stemming from personal bereavement, it is a legitimate form of secondary grief and can affect caregivers, counselors, and even readers.

 

Wake

A time of vigil before burial or cremation—marked by prayer, storytelling, music, or sitting with the body.

 

“Week of Remembrance”

A designated seven-day period during which families and communities are invited to publicly honor those they’ve lost. This week may include lighting candles, creating memorials, participating in a kindness chain, or simply sharing names aloud. At Memories After, this observance is held annually online with contributions from around the world.

 

Widowhood

The state of having lost a spouse, regardless of age or gender.