UNITED KINGDOM

Zoe, my beautiful daughter,

I never thought I’d be writing words like these. When I first learned you were growing, I didn’t know how to take it all in. I was excited, nervous, scared—but above all, hopeful. Your name, Zoe Alexandria, carried a strength and beauty I longed for you to embody. Life. Defender. That’s what your name means.

But on the 2nd of June, 2019, our lives changed forever. We lost you. I didn’t know how to grieve, or even if I had the right to. So much of the focus was on your mum’s pain—which is natural, because she carried you—and I pushed my own grief to the back of my mind. I told myself I had to be strong, but inside, I was breaking. I felt invisible in my sorrow.

Before we lost you, your mum and I imagined our future together—tiny clothes, late-night feeds, laughter filling the house. During the loss, everything shifted. She was drowning in pain and needed a fresh start, a new beginning to find her way through. I didn’t understand then, but now I see it clearly: she wasn’t walking away from love; she was trying to survive her grief.

Our relationship couldn’t hold under the weight of what happened. It wasn’t her fault, and it wasn’t mine. We were two broken souls trying to heal in different ways. She needed space and change. I clung to the memory of you. That difference pulled us apart.

But Zoe, even in that, you gave us both something sacred—you gave us depth. You showed us what it means to love fiercely, even in silence. You taught me that a father’s grief is real, even if the world doesn’t always see it. And you’ve given me the compassion to understand others who have walked this road.

I want others to know: miscarriage changes everything. It hurts more than words can say. It reshapes relationships, and sometimes, those relationships cannot last under the weight of loss. That truth doesn’t have to be bitter—it can be tender, too. Because your mum and I will both always carry you in our hearts, even if we no longer walk side by side.

When I hear this song "Reminiscing' by the Little River Band - it gives me hope that perhaps your mother and I will get back together.

Zoe Alexandria—you were here. You mattered. And you are still loved beyond measure.

Your Dad,
Javier